The start of crazy anxiety, I just gave my notice

I gave my two weeks notice at the coffee shop that I have been working at for the last year and a half. With the start of school around the corner and no idea who was going to watch the kids and might I say after a long wait to see if I got any postings from a Craigslist ad entitled.....
Looking for Mary Poppins. No big deal, just make believe, read, play, cook healthy organic meals do arts projects and transport my kids back and forth from school three days a week. We decided to not go back to the school that is three seconds away because for lack of a better word, it is hard around the edges. Most of the kids are immigrants from the homeless shelter or just in the area. You have really wealthy families on one side and dirt poor on the other. The dirt poor is the majority and the wealthy is the minority simply because this area has the highest gay population in Salt Lake. So here we are in the mix, we look like we are okay but we are really dirt....hum let's be positive, monetarily challenged mixed with foreseeable optimism with Kurt in school and just have four kids so we are not the wealthy but not immigrants. We are just the TIKI TRIBE. So we are having the kids go to a statewide highly talked about school 13 blocks away. I had to create a fake lease all for the sake of education, using my friends address in the area and all the while telling the kids that it is okay because it is for their education. HUM! So knowing the situation I knew it was either getting a mothers helper or quiting. No responses came in like I thought so I walked in and gave my notice. It was a wonderful feeling. The owners are very hard to deal with. Your typical egotistical thinking I am better than anyone and more educated because I own three shacks in parking lots that sell coffee kind of guys. Both brothers, both I can't stand. So I was walking on sunshine feeling great when the food I had eaten that morning would not digest and it started rolling around in my lower half..........
what am I going to do!!!!!!!
We need the job, we need the money. So after talking about it for over a year, I decided to jump start my home business. See flier following this message that I am handing out to every neighbor in my area. So I am taking an act of faith and am scared.
I would love anyone's prayer, feelings of good will and positive Karma sent this way.
We are scared.

Here we are

This is the beginning. The start of a trilogy. The ribbon cutting, the birthday, the new car smell the beginning of the century, the new moon, the last spring frost.

It is July in Utah. The smell of a fire in the distance lingers in the air. It is muggy today. What a break in the dry heat. It has been a mild summer. At least the heat hasn't reached above 100 degrees yet. The rain has been scarce. I always think to myself how much we depend on modern water systems when we don't see rain for this long. I miss the thunder storms of the summer. I think we have yet to have one. We have done all the typical July things. We went to Logan for Kurt's birthday with all the kids. Bear Lake was beautiful. The water was crystal blue and I made a killer fruit cobbler in the dutch oven. Of course Kai woke in the middle of the night. I think we have not braved a camp site since he has been born because of how awful of a sleeper he is. Well now that I think of it, we went to a camp out with Braky's school last year with Kai and the kids and one of Brak's friends. Nastasya's birthday is coming up a week from today she reminds me of the count down every day. Oh to be almost twelve. She is grown up for her age and scares me more than you will ever know.

Kai is almost three. 6 days after Tasya. He is our little bam bam. Cute, loves to play in the dirt, comes out to welcome dad home from work in his birthday suit. Got to love him.

As for us. Just working hard. Kurt is pounding away as an Electrical Apprentice. He is petitioning the local legislators to invest in training for renewable energy. I am serving coffee and developing a plan to start a new business. I will be sending everyone I know cards to hand out. I registered for school and will be attending classes at Salt Lake Community College. I want to eventually take classes to become a Community Herbologist. How wonderful that would be. My dream for the future is a community garden on every street that is funded by the government. Far fetched but I guarantee we will be there soon.
Good for now
Have a beautiful day